Imaginary friends

It is quite common for children of about three or four years of age to have an imaginary friend. This may be another child or could be a magical person or an animal. Sometimes the imaginary friends change as the child grows older.

Often children who have imaginary friends are only children, or oldest children in the family; but having an imaginary friend does not mean that your child is lonely. They are usually creative, imaginative children.

As the child grows older the real world takes over and by the time the child is going to school the imaginary friend usually just quietly disappears

Are imaginary friends a problem?

Imaginary friends are a part of normal development and rather than being a problem they can help children to deal with some of the stresses in their lives.
Sometimes an imaginary friend can help parents to see where a problem is.

• For example if the imaginary friend is afraid of the dark it is likely that the child is afraid of the dark and learning to manage her fears through the friend.
• If the friend is always misbehaving and getting into trouble it may be that the child is having too may rules or punishments.

Sometimes children can use their imaginary friends to avoid doing something they don't want to.

If your child plays happily with others and enjoys doing things with you and other children there is not likely to be any problem. If the child continues to choose the friend very often rather than doing things in the real world it is helpful to have a look at what is going on in his life and think about ways to help him enjoy doing real things as well.